A Playlist For Paying Your Taxes At The Last Minute


It’s April 17th — tax day! In other words, it’s time to confront the unopened envelopes that may or may not hold your W2 and bust a move on Turbo Tax. Here are some (admittedly tenuous) songs to help you forget that you’re the average type of American who has nothing to lose by waiting until the last second to pay your taxes.

Money Money Money, ABBA

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETxmCCsMoD0&w=600&h=315]

“I work all night, I work all day, to pay the bills I have to pay/ Ain’t it sad/ And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me/ That’s too bad.” And never more true on Tax Day.

The Smashing Pumpkins, Bullet with Butterfly Wings

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-r-V0uK4u0&w=600&h=315]

“Bullet with Butterfly Wings” isn’t your typical Tax Day song, but why the hell not? It’s kind of perfect if you interpret the song liberally. I don’t know about you guys, but 364 days of rebellion is undone the day I file my taxes. Despite all my rage re: footing the bill for a bunch of policies I don’t agree with, I am still going to pay the government a quarter of my income in a timely fashion ??? ?

Wu-Tang, C.R.E.A.M.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjZRAvsZf1g&w=600&h=315]

“C.R.E.A.M.” works on so many levels. If you’re getting a refund, listen to the chorus on repeat with dollar signs in your eyes ’cause you’re gettin’ that money. Dolla dolla bill, y’all. If you owe money, it’s time to get with a sick tight clique and go all out. And if you’re just in a bad mood because well, taxes, “C.R.E.A.M.” is a damn good song. That flow is so sweet it could make Kristen Stewart smile.

Billy Joel, Movin’ Out (Anthony’s Song)

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcBUwUCcGOE&w=600&h=315]

This is the song for anyone who’s like, “Actually, I’m gonna pass on the whole ‘American Dream,’ working-stiff, tax-paying thing. Good luck with that.” Billy Joel, my friends, is not a rat in a cage.

Aloe Blacc, I Need A Dollar

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iR6oYX1D-0w&w=600&h=315]

I am so worried for Aloe Blacc. Your tax payment is not at the bottom of a bottle, boo.

Calloway, I Wanna Be Rich

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ztk9t_m1FpY&w=600&h=315]

The thing about “I Wanna Be Rich” is that I honestly believe Calloway wants to be rich. Sometimes musicians sing about being a broke ass and I have to roll my eyes so hard I have an orgasm, but I think Calloway legitimately had five good years and then begrudgingly rejoined the 99%. He’s probably hovering over his 1040 and playing this song on repeat as we speak.

The Beatles, Taxman

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqK97av7I3s&w=600&h=315]

While “Taxman” tends to elicit homicidal tendencies in its audience (some post offices have taken to playing it for all of the last-minute taxpayers as they wait in line), it’s indisputably the number one tax song in the world. THE WORLD. And George Harrison is a god, so there’s that.

The Kinks, Sunny Afternoon

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeOa_OcB3DE&w=600&h=315]

A little history: Harold Wilson was the leader of the Labour Party, serving as Prime Minister of the UK twice during the ’60s and ’70s. It was this era that inspired both “Sunny Afternoon” and “Taxman.” Bands like the Beatles and the Kinks fell under the top tax bracket, which made them liable to the 95% supertax imposed by the Labour party. So like, when you hear Ray Davies crying about his yacht, don’t mentally kick him in the nuts for complaining. All he’s got is this sunny afternoon, like you and me.

Flying Lizards, Money

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-P2qL3qkzk&w=600&h=315]

Here’s the part where you hit the ‘File’ button and dance around in your kitchen ala Lucas of Empire Records. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

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image – Images_of_Money