1. Caring too much about what other people think.
In a world where different is judged and being like everyone else is praised, individuality and authenticity is put on the back-burner. But inherently, what makes us authentic is exactly what makes you special. If everyone thought, felt, and acted in the exact same way, then there would be no originality in the world. There would be no individual beauty in this world.
The truth is, you are never going to be able to please everyone. But as long as you are able to go to bed each night knowing that you lived your day in alignment with what you know to be true, then that’s all you can ever do.
2. Rushing success.
I was someone that always wanted success to find me fast. However, I didn’t want to put in the work for it. Later on, however, I realized that success was never about being the hardest worker, or for that matter, even getting to success as fast as possible. Success is a fleeting and passing victory, but fulfillment, happiness, and acceptance for this moment now is an everlasting one. The difference in this small way of life changed my whole world. I believe it can for you too, if you allow it to.
When you no longer need success, that’s when success ironically will find you. When you no longer need to get to a place that you are currently not at, that’s when happiness will find you. You don’t need success right now to feel whole. You are whole with or without it already.
3. Living for the future.
It’s amazing to have a vision for yourself and where you want to be. But at the very same expense, you never want to place your vision and aspirations on a pedestal, in which every moment is a means to get there. This is a horrible way to live, and more importantly, we never get to fully experience this time now.
It’s so easy to project yourself into a “happier” future. But I promise you that if you don’t find happiness in this moment now, then you will never find it in any self-projected future that you are relying on. Find it now and it will forever and always be yours to have.
4. Giving up time with friends and loved ones for success.
I truly believe that there is a fine line to be drawn between working hard for what you want because you love doing something and working yourself into the ground because you want to prove something. But meanwhile, life will always be passing. Life will always be moving forward. At each moment, you are giving up something because you could be doing something else.
I’ve come to see that true happiness also resides in internally feeling that you are exactly where you need to be right now, in whatever you may be doing. Whether that’s working or not, the capacity to feel that you are exactly where you are and not resisting what your soul is calling you to do at this moment is one of the major fallacies that our society preaches nowadays. You don’t need to work yourself into the ground to get to where you want to go. The slow but steady route is always best and far more fulfilling.
5. Thinking that you need to feel “good” all the time.
Nowadays in the self-help world, there’s a major emphasis on what one lacks and an inherent highlight on what one “needs” to do in order to feel happy all the time. But the truth is, happiness is not supposed to be a straight line. The truth is, happiness comes and goes. It’s the internal contentment and fulfillment, however, that will stay.
The ability to look at what’s happening to you right now, whether it’s good or bad, and allow yourself to feel whatever your heart is calling for is such a major victory that we rarely ever speak of in this world. It’s okay to feel discomfort. It’s okay to ignore the “perfect” world on social media and give yourself permission to feel all of life’s many colors. That is exactly what makes us human.
6. Letting go of dreams.
When we’re young and imaginative, we allow ourselves to dream. But somewhere along the way, we stop ourselves from dreaming and being childlike. We push our dreams of grandeur to the side in order to fulfill more “realistic” and “practical” obligations that ensue adulthood.
But why let go of things that made you so happy and light in this world? Why let go of things that your soul was always calling for? That excitement that you feel. That inner being that makes you feel alive. That’s what having a dream allows you to feel every day.
7. Placing your happiness outside of yourself.
So often, we place our happiness on external sources that never bring us the loving contentment that we so desperately search for. Happiness may not always be something that we can buy, receive, or long for, but it is always something that is within us if we’re brave enough to look there.
Your happiness is in the small and seemingly insignificant things that each and every one of us have. All you need to do now is see it as such. That’s when true happiness will find you.