7 Things Your Gay Best Friend Wants To Tell You But Never Will


1. Don’t use slurs.

We’ll laugh and say it’s fine, but it’s really not. Some of the words you use are ancient and complex in their hatred. Maybe one day they can be reclaimed, but that’s not your job.

2. Don’t out us.

Even if we’re comfortable with our identity, we don’t know if everyone else is going to be the same way. Let us do the talking on this one and if necessary, let us stay in the closet where it’s safe.

3. Don’t assume our attractions.

Gay men do not think every other man is sexually attractive. The same goes for the rest of us. We have preferences, just like you do, and we don’t appreciate being told who to find attractive.

4. Don’t assume our hobbies.

We aren’t walking stereotypes.

5. Do stand up for us.

If your other friends are being homophobic, even if we’re not around, step in and say something. We would do the same for you.

6. Do listen to us.

Even if we’re talking about “gay” things, understand that it’s important to us and we share it with you because we trust you. You wouldn’t be our friend otherwise.

7. Do treat us like any other human being.

We are not your gay best friend. We are your best friend that happens to be gay. Our sexual identity should have no real impact on the friendships we have. We’re not here to fill a niche in your friend group, to help you pick what you’re going to wear, or to prove your tolerance. We’re here to be your friend. Treat us like one.