Being in a relationship can be a challenge. Having to consider someone else’s needs and feelings can tire you out. If you manage to be involved with someone more than five minutes, it is likely you will end up in disagreement of some sort during your relationship.
A fight is often the moment of truth between people. If you don’t learn how to fight fairly, it could be the end of your union even if you don’t want it to be.
Here are some things you should never say to your partner if you want them to stick around to keep you warm as we head into the winter season.
1. Are you stupid?
This should seem like an obvious thing not to ask your mate. By asking this question, even in the heat of the moment, you are calling them stupid in Jeopardy! format. And they know that you are. There are always times we think someone may be an idiot, but calling them stupid is f*cked-up and will likely lead you to not getting “any” going forward. There is no covering it up even in question form. Any self-respecting person will not likely let this slide. We all have our airhead moments, but calling your sweet thing stupid can leave you without any sugar later.
2. You are jealous of (insert ex, waitress, random sexy minx).
There are times that everyone gets a bit put off by someone paying too much attention to our partner. But there are times that we participate in behavior that we are aware we wouldn’t like if it were happening to us. If your babe finds the Tinder application on your phone and the best you can come up with was you were looking for friends and they are being jealous, you may as well pack your bags and move in with the next random match when you swipe right. Jealousy aside, you may just be full of sh*t.
3. Audible sighs and eye rolls.
We all mastered these actions by age 10, and it was disrespectful when we did it to our parents, so it is no different with your mate. You are dismissing them and expressing your boredom with whatever their topic of conversation may be. If you are this bored with them, you should probably do both of you a favor and move on.
4. It is their fault.
If your mate presents something that you did to hurt them and you blame your partner for your bad behavior, then you may qualify as an asshole. One of the hardest things to do is to take responsibility for our actions. Assuming responsibility for our behavior in a relationship can make the difference between a steady Netflix and Chill partner versus binge-watching with only a Snuggie to keep you warm.
5. You are just like your mother/father.
Obviously, this is bad if your mate sees the comparison negatively. Whether you mean it or not they will not forget it. Furthermore, they will feel violated since they opened up to you about whatever their issues with that person may be. Being intentionally mean to your loved one is a sign you may need to be alone after all.
6. Making any statement that shits on their dreams.
Now, if you met someone who has been trying to be a rapper since Run-DMC was on point and they still haven’t made it, just walk away. But if you stick it out with them you can’t try to change their passion. Whether they make it or not, you may as well try to sell their CD during your lunch break at work or find someone with a dream that you can support.
It may seem dramatic and self-satisfying to impulsively tell your mate to push on, but you’d better mean it—you know, in case they take your invitation to exit seriously and do just that. If you have been taking your dramatic cues from reality TV you may just find out you had them f*cked up when you find yourself in an empty apartment. If you want someone to stay, it is quite simple not to invite them to go away. Because if you don’t mean it, you could have accidentally put a period on something when you really were just hoping for a dramatic pause. No one wants to be where they are unwanted. So when you tell someone to go and they do, it may be harder to convince them to return.