7 Reasons Why Being A ‘Girl Who Doesn’t Need Anyone’ Totally Backfired


Today I was Reading some old thought catalog articles (because that’s how much I love reading thought catalog articles and I already read all of the recent ones)… I came across an article called “44 Types of Girls that I Like”, and in that list, number 44 said this:

44. Girls who don’t need me, or anyone else for that matter, in their life to be the best, happiest, and most beautiful girls that they can possibly be.

I want to talk about this; I would consider myself one of these girls, because at a very young age, after my first heartbreak and as I was “finding my place” in this world, I stopped and I realized how important it is and how much I do love and respect myself inside and out, sure there’s things I’m working on but the fact that I’m working on them means that I know myself well enough and have enough respect for myself to do so. But being this girl, the girl who’s happy and beautiful and fun loving without needing someone has actually seemed to backfire on my dating life.

I’ve been single and loving it for about three years now; I love going on dates, and meeting new people, and rather than being nervous and overthinking “dating” I find it quite simple to just go, be myself, let my hair down and enjoy the company of somebody new, with fresh ideas and conversation rather than going into it with expectations that then lead to disappointment. And because of this, I am pretty much always able to have a great time, a great date. You’re probably thinking, okay, well how then has this backfired? I’ll tell you:

1. When go home from our date, I’m not thinking of you. Not even a little bit. I’m more likely thinking about the delicious Juicy Lucy that I ate and refused to let you pay for (because I don’t like to owe anyone anything).

2. The next day when you start texting me casually asking me how I slept and how my day’s going, I get annoyed, because despite the good heart and thought it takes for a guy to do that, I felt absolutely no need to text you. And unless I’m group messaging my friends funny emoji’s and rants about how drunk we all got that one night, texting convo’s are an incredible waste of my time.

3. When I’m lying in bed at night, completely content with myself, no part of me yearns for your, or anyone else’s affection. In fact, the last thing I want to do is share my bed; my dog takes up plenty of space as it is, there’s definitely no room for a third body.

4. I can make myself orgasm way better than someone else can.

5. I don’t need anyone to lean on, and the most epic love stories all start with two people needing someone to lean on.

6. Once you go on a first date with me and see that I’m this girl, you like me way too much. You become needy.

7. I’m so not needy, so your needyness is annoying and unattractive.

What I’ve come to realize about love, is that it’s based off of need. It’s incredibly hard to let someone into your life, and to want to be in someone else’s life, when you don’t feel you need them or their affection. I can only hope that someday I meet someone who makes me realize that I do need someone. Or I’ll be single forever.

So, in regards to guys who wants “girls who don’t need you, or anyone else,” that’s great, dandy, but just realize, that means that we really don’t need you.