7 Points About Getting in Shape That You Need To Know


1. It doesn’t take long to exercise.

An hour a day? You trade 8 hours of your day working for money. I’d give an hour to be sexy. Sure, there are those “14-minute ab shredding workouts,” but those are dumb. The results will take forever and, even then, it’ll only make your abs strong. It won’t kill the fat. Invest in the hour.

2. You’ll love it.

Maybe not at first, but you will find the right exercise for you. Go for a run, do yoga, try boxing, start swimming. Figure out what’s fun and do it for an hour every day. Make it something you want to do, not have to do.

3. You don’t have to be insane.

Not everyone needs six-pack abs or ripped shoulders or shredded quads or whatever. Exercise to be healthy, and you will look good naked. You don’t have to become Arnold Fucking Schwarzenegger (that may not be his middle name. Don’t sue me or anything) to be in good shape.

4. You won’t get swole by lifting weights.

Speaking of Arnold no-middle-name Schwarzenegger, people swear that the moment you pick up a dumbbell your shoulders swell up like balloons and your veins grow into serpent-sized blood cell highways. Size is dependent on diet. If you don’t eat a ton of calories, the only thing that will grow is your number on the sexy scale. Yes, I just said that.

5. Yes, you do have time for it.

“I’m just too busy.”

“I don’t have the time right now.”

“I can’t afford it.”

I understand that we all feel a bit overwhelmed at times, but take a second look at that war zone of a schedule you have. You might notice that there’s a lot more space saved for Game of Thrones and Friends re-runs than you think (not to mention the greatest show ever, HIMYM). Maybe choose to watch one or the other for an hour, and become sexy during the following hour.

6. How to do it.

Have no idea what you’re doing? That’s okay. You can learn anything through the internet.

Step 1: Google pictures the term “nice ass.” There are some very nice asses. There’s your motivation. Want an ass like that? Good. See step 2.

Step 2: Google the term: how get get a nice ass (don’t google picture this. I do NOT know what will pop up). The first two links will be Wikihow How-To’s. Click on one or the other or both and follow those directions. You now know how to get a nice ass. You’re welcome.

Step 3: Put in the time. Put aside an hour a day. Set an alarm to remind you. There are countless free apps that will help you with it, but comes down to your determination.

7. Have fun.

There is no magic pill that makes it happen. There is no BOOM! Sexified. It takes a bit of work and determination, but don’t let it be a drag. Don’t be so serious about it. Exercise because it makes you feel good and will help you be healthy. Sexy will come. I have faith in you.