Some days you can put on your best clothes, go for the hairdo that never fails you, use all the right makeup, but still hate who you see in the mirror. I want you to know that that’s okay. It happens to the best of us.
If you are having a day where you don’t want to face the world because what your reflection upsets you, please remember this:
1. Beauty is merely perception.
Beauty is subjective. You don’t need to find yourself beautiful for someone else to find you beautiful. Some people are going to look at you on what you think are your worst looking days and find you stunning. If you’re having a bad day, all the filters in your mind are coloring you unattractive. This isn’t reality.
2. Beauty is not skin deep.
I know this is hard to recall on days when you really don’t like what you see in the mirror, but please take a moment to remind yourself of everything you truly are. The way you love your people, the art you create, the lives you touch in big and small ways—this will be your legacy. Not who thinks you are gorgeous to behold—that leaves nothing behind. Show up where you have to and see what happens.
3. It’s okay to not feel beautiful on some days.
You don’t have to love how you look every minute of every day. You can still have a wonderful day and do incredible things while you dislike the way you’re looking. Because guess what? The way you look has zero impact on what you are capable of creating and giving to people.
4. No one feels beautiful all the time.
Not even those we hail as the epitome of beauty. That person you wish you looked more like? They have days where they hate how they look too. I’m not asking you to discount any painful experiences you may have had regarding how you look. But you are allowed to remember that if some of the most celebrated models and actresses in the world don’t always love how they look, then it’s surely not something objective or factual.
5. No physical characteristic is synonymous with beauty.
Of course the airbrushed, tweaked, and polished media we consume can make us feel that way sometimes. But it’s not true. Being thin, light skinned, or having a particular type of face or hair does not equate to beauty or attractiveness. Each of those definitions were derived by oppressive systems trying to exert control over someone. Take a moment to remind yourself of this. Those are not valid parameters to gauge beauty by.
6. This is passing.
I know that feeling unattractive is almost a mood, a painful mix of sorrow, envy, guilt, and frustration. It can feel like reality, and reality stays the same day after day. But beauty, or its lack thereof, is not reality. Think of beauty as a mood too. There are days you feel it and days you don’t. It’ll surely return.