I know a lot of people say that turning 25 is no big deal, however it did make me reflect on the past few years that seem to have flown by and how much I have changed as a person. I have learnt the hardest lessons and still learning more.
I wanted to share the few life lessons I have experienced and which probably a lot of people have experienced leading up to the age of 25!
I have learnt that the relationship you have with yourself is the most important one you will ever have. Learning to love yourself and accept who you are as a person can sometimes be the most difficult journey you will take. But I promise you it will be the most rewarding as well. Life is about growing and learning from good and bad experiences. Once you learn to accept yourself, you truly won’t tolerate being around anyone that makes you feel worthless and bad.
You are only going to end up with two or three true friendships. (If you have more, well then you are very lucky!) If there is one thing I have learnt, and still learning, is that you start to realise who really has your back, and who just speaks to you when it’s convenient for them. Keep the friends who make time in their busy life to see you and speak to you and notice the ones who truly are happy for your happiness. Jealousy and bitterness can be spotted by a mile. You will start to realise this once you start doing well, get into a happy relationship, job promotion, etc. The ones who truly are happy for you and smiling because you are smiling are the ones you need to keep around. Some people turn out to be toxic, the others just passing by, and then you get the rare few who would do anything for you, just like you would do anything for them. They are the ones to keep around.
Never settle for anything less than you deserve. My track record of dating is honestly laughable. The things I used to put up with and deal with I would never tolerate now. My self-worth was so low I was dating people who were terrible for me. I dated cheats, liars, commitment-phobes and the worst of the bunch, the narcissist. I had so much love in me and all I wanted was to be loved back, so all I did was give and give, and then give some more. I never set boundaries in fear of them walking away and consistently let them charm me into thinking it was either okay what they did or that it was my fault some how. it wasnt until I had the worst relationship of my life that I hit rock bottom and finally thought, I deserve better than this. It took so much work on myself to finally find a decent man who loves and respects me, and treats me so well! It’s very hard watching someone go through the same thing as you just want to shake them and tell them that they deserve so much better. But, that is a life lesson everyone has to learn!
Being selfish isn’t always a bad thing. You can be selfish, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone. By being selfish I mean putting your emotions and needs first. Focusing on your own dreams and goals. Living the life that you want to create for yourself and stop putting everyone first. I got into a bad habit of always putting everyone first and always forgot about myself. I have now learnt to say no and to consider my feelings before doing anything that might make me uncomfortable. I feel a lot stronger and have more freedom to do as I please because I let go of the responsibility I felt I had over other people’s happiness.
Being kind isn’t weak. People mistake being a nice person and a kind person is weak. In fact it is very far from it. I remember an old friend saying to me that I am “too nice” and “people walk all over me”. That may have been true, but I don’t want to be bitter and angry at everyone. I don’t want to hold hatred in my heart. The only person it affects is your own well-being and it is so unhealthy. I would rather be kind to people and not judge them, than have negative feelings that bring me down. There is nothing wrong with being a kind person and helping others. That is not being a walk over and is definitely not weak. if anyone ever tells you otherwise, it’s probably because they envy how at peace you are with yourself.
Your job really does affect your life. People say a job is a job. But if you are in a job that is making you miserable then you need to make a change. You spend most of your life being at work, you need to make it an environment that you enjoy! It may not be what you want to do right now, but make sure it’s something you are not complaining about every day and that you feel happy being there. I have recently learnt that as soon as you start to resent where you are working and dread going in, then that means you need to make a change for your well-being. do it for yourself, because I can guarantee everyone else would do it too if they were unhappy.
Anyway…These are just some life lessons I have learnt in the years leading up to 25. I have so much more to learn and I feel excited about experiencing more self growth and life lessons. Some may not be pretty, others may be the best thing that has ever happened.
Either way I have no regrets, everything that has happened now has shaped me into the person I am today and that is someone I am very proud of.