Anyone who has ever been in a long-distance relationship knows the crazy look people give you when you tell them. Long-distance relationships aren’t ideal, but in 2017 when most families have two-income households, jobs can make remaining in the same city difficult.
In August, 2017, I started a long-distance relationship with my long-term, live-in boyfriend. The two of us held the same extravagant dream of making more money, living by the beach, and walking our dog in warm weather, year-round. It’s all we could talk about and in 2016, we decided to make that dream our reality. We both began applying for jobs in certain cities and prayed we would somehow both get jobs and could move together. But realistically, we knew the chances of both of us finding jobs, in our fields, in the same city, at the same exact time was going to be nearly impossible. Yet, we both held onto our dream and moved forward with a positive attitude.
We both had a few interviews here and there, but in June 2017, I had a special intuition about a particular interview. Sure enough, the job offer came days later along with a salary and benefits package I couldn’t refuse. Luckily, I had one full month until my start date so he used that month to hammer out as many job applications as possible. Unfortunately, he is still in the interview process and for the past two months, we have been carrying out our relationship 850 miles apart. Many people think we’re nuts, but he’s why it works (for us):
1. It works for us. Long-distance relationships really aren’t for everyone. Love isn’t enough to keep two people together. You both have to want it, you both have to trust it will work, and you both have to stay positive and communicate. It really won’t work for every couple, but it does have the ability to work for some.
2. We plan time to talk and Facetime. We keep each other in the loops about we’re doing each day. Not to be controlling and overbearing, but so we know when will be a good time to call or text and when we KNOW they’re not answering because they’re busy. We keep each other in the loop and included in each other’s lives.
3. We remain positive. Whenever we talk about being together again, we always say “when you move down.” Not “if.” Doing this helps us both stay positive and envision the future we’re working towards.
4. We surprise each other. Small care packages, postcards, and the one-time surprise visit. We send each other little things to remind each other we’re thinking of them.
5. We plan visits. Probably the most important piece of our relationship is knowing when we will see each other again. It gives us something to look forward to and it helps to know the time apart is only temporary.
6. We have every intention of being together again ASAP. We went into this knowing we wanted to be together again. There was no “maybe someday I’ll consider moving” or fights about who will move to who. We knew where we wanted to be and one of us just happened to make it there first.
Love isn’t always enough. It takes a lot of time, trust, and patience to make a long-distance relationship work. But for us, it’s just a step in making our dreams of raising a family in this city a dream come true.