5 Tips When Choosing Your Best Girl Friend


1. This is easy. Don’t go for a girl who loves snagging your men. She might give him the come hither look, hike up her skirt a few inches higher when he approaches, or even laugh that tinkling laugh of hers when your man walks by. Obviously, she’ll deny doing all of this and continue being a nice friend to you while really spending most of the time looking just over your shoulder to where your boyfriend is fetching a drink for you. She’s flirty by nature, and sometimes, she just goes out of her way to prove that she if she wanted it, she’d get it.
The point: Even if she’s the most popular kid in school, the best work mate you’ve ever had, or the one who’s always inviting you to the awesome parties – steer clear of her. Really, it’s just not worth it to allow her into your personal life.

2. Your best friend girl pal doesn’t necessarily have to like the same things as you. In fact, the best of friends I’ve had over the years have the exact opposite traits of my personality. They’re quiet and the love classical music, whereas I roll my eyes and burn them numerous CDs with Led Zeppelin compilations, hoping that their musical hearts will be enlightened.
What then, do we bond over? Well, to be honest…each other. We each found something so incredible about one another that liking different things only compliments and not compromise the different aspects our friendship. My point is…don’t just pick the friend that loves the same subjects as you, or likes the same hairstyles you do. Sometimes (more often than not really) this leads to all sorts of competition that you can really do without.

3. Always give that girl with the bitchy attitude a chance. You’ll be surprised. Most of us discovered this the hard way. We immediately went for the nicest, most polite girls we thought would be happy to help us braid our hairs, to be the one that comes over to comfort us after each heartbreak. And then we get floored when she screws us over with a smile. Just because, you know, she has impeccable manners. I’m not saying leave out the nice girls completely. I’m saying don’t just avoid the frosty ones altogether! They can sometimes be the most compassionate of your friends, being fiercely protective of your heart and concerned for your well-being once you get around that steely wall they’ve put up around themselves.

4. It’s common knowledge that you’d naturally gravitate towards a friend that doesn’t act like a complete thorn in your side. I do that too. Most of the time. To be brutally honest – all of the time. But over the years, I have come to the realization that the closest of my girl friends were all, at some point of time, a thorn in my side. I don’t write them off. They chided me on my stupid ways of returning to that very one boy who kept cheating on me. They told me flat out, that me hovering above a toilet, wasted and pale from the night before, three times a week was not normal. They told me that as much as they loved me, my boss was right – I take way too many calls at work, and I’m on too many breaks. You see, they are unafraid to speak their minds and many people do not want to hear unpleasant truths. But if you keep these people at arm’s length, who’s going to do the dirty job for you? For significant other? Your parents, who only see you as the apple of their eye? No, for this purpose, you need a girl friend who has a sharp eye but the gentlest tact when letting you know how you can be a better person. Remember – this is different from girls who are constantly putting you down. Those girls do things that make you miserable, that do nothing for yourself esteem. The girls I’m recommending you try and be friends with however, have your best interests at heart.

5. Pick the one girl who doesn’t just drop everything when she’s in a relationship. The good thing about this is that this particular friend of yours is so content and happy with the man she is with, she wouldn’t have second thoughts about going after yours. The bad news: the ease with which she dropped all of her friends from her life tells you that she’s overly dependent on her love life for happiness. She’s the friend who will call you at three in the morning after her third break-up that year, not really caring if you have a big day tomorrow at work. See, the reason she does this is because she has no one else to turn to. If you’re her best friend, it’s very likely that she’ll only come running to you when her significant other has temporarily (or permanently) left her. You do not want to be friends with these girls – it’s mostly one person doing all the work to keep the friendship alive. I don’t think it’s a fair trade.

featured image – Flickr / Fred Benenson