5 Things You’ll Be Surprised To Know About Contacting The Dead (As Described By A Medium)


1. Clothing is optional.

You might think that being a medium would mean I never have to deal with indecent exposure, but I’m beginning to doubt that assumption. When I first started doing readings, the spirits were all clothed and respectable. Then one day I saw a very large male sitting in a recliner without his shirt, telling me about the heart condition he died from. A few weeks later, I was sharing messages from a woman’s teenaged son when he started walking the “catwalk” of my living room and posing in his boxers.

The clothing a loved one in spirit chooses can give a message to the person I’m doing a reading for. They might appear wearing the same clothes they were wearing when they passed, or they might wear their favorite purple sweatshirt. They might choose their clothing to add humor to the reading or point out a physical characteristic, like bulging arm muscles or a large stomach. I have yet to get a show of full nudity, but I have learned that loved ones who have passed will appear in their choice of clothing (or lack of it).

2. They aren’t spooky.

I know it may sound creepy to think about seeing or talking to people who have passed, but it actually feels very natural to me. Unaccompanied by the scary soundtracks and lighting of movies, it feels like a friend stopped by. It is a privilege to get to know the people who are so loved and missed by their family.

It sometimes feels like I’m playing charades with the spirit because the messages don’t always come in the form of words and phrases. Often I’ll see images or the spirit will act out something, and I have to figure out what they are trying to get me to say. One woman’s father showed me the cover of a Grumpy Old Men DVD to let me know his personality. And almost every spirit who served in the military will start their conversation with me by correcting my posture and giving me the feeling of sitting up straight. There is grief, humor, love, and healing during a reading, but it’s never spooky.

3. They don’t focus on how they died.

When I communicate with someone’s deceased loved one, they might mention how they passed, but then they focus on other topics. They want to share messages about what their life was like, what they learned, and what they see happening in the lives of their family members. They want to let their loved ones know they are doing well on the other side.

When someone passes, they are surrounded by love. They meet up with their other family members who are in spirit, and they are free from pain and physical limitation. There is so much love and support in the dying process. Those of us who are left behind are the ones who are challenged with coming to terms with the loss and healing from our grief. That is the true difficulty. Your loved ones who have passed are doing well.

4. They’re just like you…without the body.

Before I worked as a medium, I worked in an emergency room. I remember one day when a patient was brought in, I could see his spirit floating about 10 feet from his body, watching as the medical professionals worked to revive him. I could feel his thoughts and emotions, and what surprised me was how detached he felt from his body, almost as if it belonged to someone else. He was interested in what was happening, but he didn’t feel the tragic loss that most of us have learned to associate with death. He was fine and free from pain, without a body, but still existing.

We are all a spirit in a body. The body lives and dies, but the spirit continues. Your loved ones who have passed still exist as well, complete with their personality, memories, and their love for you.

5. It’s easier than you might think to communicate with them.

Your loved ones who have passed are not in a faraway place. They are available when you need them, and they are happy to share a message to let you know they are okay.

One of the easiest ways you can start communicating with them is to write them a letter. Tell them what is happening in your life, how you’re feeling, or ask for guidance. Then, imagine that you have stepped aside and are allowing them to guide your hands and thoughts. Write everything that comes to you, even if you think you’re imagining it. Don’t judge what you’re writing before you’ve written it. Just write.

When you’re done, read back over the messages. Did you feel your loved one while you were writing? Did you smell their perfume or cologne? Does the guidance sound like something they would say? To get confirmation that you are really communicating with them, ask them to tell you something you don’t already know that you will find out about soon.

I was talking with my mother’s aunt in spirit one day, and when I asked her to tell me something I didn’t know, she told me, “Your husband burned the pancakes.” My husband is a great cook, and I knew it was unlikely that he had burned the pancakes he was making for breakfast. I went into the kitchen, and the pancakes looked perfect. I instantly felt deflated. Then my husband lifted up one of the pancakes and said, “I’m sorry honey, but I got distracted and burned the pancakes on one side.” I was never more thrilled to eat burnt pancakes!

Your loved ones are happy to communicate with you. Even if you feel like you’re imagining things at first, keep trying to communicate with them. The more you practice, the easier it will be to distinguish your thoughts from true messages from your loved ones.

The biggest difference between you and your loved ones in spirit is a physical body. Apart from that, they can still delight you with their humor, offer their love and encouragement, and let you know that they are doing well.