I’d like to start this post off by stating 2 things very clearly. The first is that I know this might be an unpopular opinion. It may cause people to scoff, roll their eyes, or curse. Well, sorry. The second is that I have been both single and in a relationship at various times in my life and experienced both sides. Frankly there are things that I, and many other people in relationships, find irritating when it comes to interacting with SOME single people we encounter in the world. At the risk of sounding pretentious, here’s some food for thought:
1. Being the third, fifth, 7th, or 9th wheels
Remember in high school when you had to pair up to do some stupid ice-breaker game or a science project or something? Yeah, we’re out of high school and this is the real world. Why can’t three people go out to dinner or a movie without the insecurity that he or she will be the “third wheel”? If the couple has invited you out, they clearly want to see you and spend time with you. Believe it or not, it is possible for couples to go out in public and interact with other individuals and not just each other.
2. Valentine’s Day sucks
You can have whatever opinion you want about Valentine’s Day. I know a lot of single people who love it, and a lot of people in relationships who think it’s stupid. Whatever your thought is, don’t make someone in a relationship feel guilty for doing something special that day. Because it’s their choice, not yours. And honestly, it’s none of your business what they decide to do with their time. Condemning me or my sig other for having a special dinner or outing just makes you look bitter.
I get it. Sitting in a room where a couple is actively making out, one’s tongue down the other’s throat with little regard for the rest of the room is very uncomfortable. I’ve been one of those innocent bystanders. It’s awkward and a little weird.
But quit whining if I want to hold my boyfriend’s hand or if my friend kisses her boyfriend for a split second. I don’t understand what the big deal is about showing little signs of affection. By this point, I’ve graduated from grade 2 and there has long been a cure for “cooties”. Grow up and get over it.
4. Treating us as a package deal instead of 2 people
Just because two people are in a relationship, that does not mean they don’t have their own wants, dreams, opinions, and lives. I was born Megan, I am Megan, and one day, I’m gonna die Megan. Being part of a couple has not and will not change that. Don’t judge one or both of us by what one or the other of us says or does. We can speak for ourselves.
5. Assuming we’re needy
People have their own reasons for being in a relationship, but don’t presume you know what they are. For many dating or married people, they are choosing to be in the relationship because they enjoy the person and because they’re committed to him or her. It’s time to hop down off your high horse and put him in the stable. Just because I’m in a relationship now doesn’t mean I haven’t been single in the past. I know how to live and work and take care of myself on my own.
There you have it – the cold, hard truth about what gets on the nerves of people in relationships. The bottom line is that your own self-confidence should not be reliant on another person. It comes from within. I shouldn’t rely on my boyfriend for confidence, and you shouldn’t rely on the lives of others for confidence. Stop taking everything a couple does or doesn’t do so personally, because frankly, it has nothing to do with you.