40 Things People From DC Will Never Say


1. I have only good things to say about the metro.

2. New York? I don’t really have a strong opinion about it either way.

3. Your parents are in town? You should take them to McFaddens!

4. Wow! Everyone in Adams Morgan is really polite!

5. Let’s just skip the bullpen before the Nats game.

6. Eh…I’d rather fly out of Dulles.

7. This rooftop bar is awful.

8. Eating food from a truck just seems weird to me.

9. Actually, most of the college kids in DC pay their own tuition.

10. Cab drivers are so accommodating when you ask to pay with a credit card.

11. Did you hear it might snow tomorrow? They should close the government- just in case.

12. There was room for everyone to sit down in my metro car today!

13. I’m really passionate about DC sports teams.

14. After I graduated, going to The Tombs made me feel young again!

15. I just get more done when I’m working from home.

16. All of my friends own their apartments.

17. My office parties usually suck.

18. The government interns really blend in on the metro.

19. No traffic? Again?

20. I need a cheap dress for a wedding, so I’m just going to stop by Georgetown.

21. My commute is actually really quick.

22. They serve alcohol in movie theaters now?

23. Playing sports on The Mall just gets boring after awhile.

24. I met my boyfriend in the basement of the Brixton.

25. Bottomless mimosas? No thanks.

26. I feel like the escalators into the metro are always working.

27. I’d rather not go if it’s going to be an open bar.

28. Let’s check out the Segway tour this weekend!

29. I was really upset when they closed The Guards because of the fine quality of their food during the day.

30. I’ve had the same SmartTrip for years.

31. I don’t know where any of the speeding cameras are.

32. Sign of the Whale is great because their floors are so clean.

33. Happy hour? No thanks, I’m just gonna head home.

34. Let me tell you about the great experience I had with MegaBus this weekend…

35. I love that place! They have really cheap iced coffee.

36. I’ve never looked up the salaries of my friends that work for the government.

37. There are too many hipsters at the waterfront.

38. Have you ever been to the McDonalds in Chinatown after 10pm? It makes me feel really safe.

39. Isn’t it great how well the cab drivers know their way around the city?

40. Directions to the Washington Monument? Sorry, I can’t help you.