I have noticed a steady influx of articles recently that dive into why the end of an almost-relationship is infinitely more painful than an actual breakup.
Firstly, this is somewhat valid. An “Almost-relationship” can be more difficult to get over because there was no closure. There were less emotions out in the open and fully discussed (Sorry – drunken ‘I love you’s don’t count), so the impact is worse because we don’t have a true understanding of where it went wrong.
However, among the sob stories of crushed girls who found out their “Almost-Bae” was actually mass swiping on Tinder this entire time, let’s switch things up, shall we?
So put down the damn Ben & Jerry’s and stop sending suggestive snapchats to guys you’re not even all that interested in – just to get some form of validation that you’ve still got it.
Here’s what you won’t miss about your almost-relationship:
1. The constant ambiguity that you just can’t shake.
You know what I’m talking about. That feeling that you attempt to push away each time it creeps up on you, attempting to convince yourself that you’re completely fine with “just having fun”. He’ll be all about you and pretty much treating you like his girlfriend one weekend, and then disappear off the face of the earth the next. However, since he’s not actually your boyfriend, you can’t get pissed off at him for it. Eventually, this “will he or won’t he” feeling is going to get old. You’ll want someone who won’t leave you second-guessing how he feels about you – and you’re clearly not going to find it here.
2. Not knowing how to introduce each other to your friends.
“Oh, is this your boyfriend!? SO good to finally meet you!”
Dammit, Chatty Kathy – put down the vodka. I have explained multiple times that we’re not actually boyfriend and girlfriend – we’re just you know, spending every weekend together, texting all the time, and having adult sleepovers on the reg. What’s so weird about that? Jesus.
3. Those weird moments when you get jealous of each other or approach ‘defining the relationship,’ but never actually do.
Some guy will hit on you at the bar and he will get noticeably irritated – but avoids bringing it up again because it’s not worth having to deal with The Talk.
He’ll say something that offends you, but you’ll grin and bear it because you don’t want to come off as a crazy girlfriend – because oh wait, you’re NOT EVEN HIS GIRLFRIEND.
Basically, neither of you want to come off as too “relationship-y” too fast, so you try to appear as chill as possible at all times – and yes, one of you will eventually lose their shit and it will not be pretty.
4. Knowing that you’re holding out for something that’s most likely not going to happen.
I’m not saying that “almost-relationships” never turn into full-blown relationships – because they do. However, us girls are more intuitive than we give ourselves credit for. It’s pretty obvious when a guy is in it for the physical aspect, and nothing more. A good rule of thumb is that if you are receiving the slightest indication that he doesn’t care about you, he probably doesn’t. So maybe instead of waiting around for him to finally confess his undying love, it’s time to find someone who will tell you straight-up.