After a breakup—even an ugly one when you know you’re better off—there’s always a small part of you that hopes he will come back, regardless of who ended things. You’d never admit it to your girlfriends or maybe even your waking conscious—but there is still that ideal man who fights for you, tries to win you back, and valiantly makes a big romantic gesture. This guy won’t, because he is too emotionally stunted. But he will try to weasel his way back into your life.
For whatever reason, the boys that are bad for us always come back. I do not know if it’s because they are creatures of habit or perhaps just lazy. But it’s important to not fall back into their trap. So ladies, here are four things to remember when your toxic ex tries (and he will) to get back together with you:
1. Remember why you broke up in the first place.
Something wasn’t right—and you were either fed up or had a moment of clarity. Listen to your gut instinct and don’t be swayed by loneliness or the sight of happy couples around you. If he is contacting you via text, G-Chat, or Facebook, stay away from this person! He is basically saying that you’re not worth a phone call or even an email to him. You’re only an afterthought to him. This is one of the reasons you broke up.
2. Remember how painful your breakup was.
It doesn’t matter whether it was the first or tenth time you ended things. Think about all of those nights crying into the arms of sympathetic friends—or even worse, alone on the bathroom floor. Is it worth it? Don’t you think you owe yourself a little more credit? That isn’t love. That is emotional torture, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.
3. Remember how he made you feel before the breakup.
Think of how lost and overwhelmed that relationship made you feel. What could he possibly do now to make up for that? How could he ever apologize for the way he treated you? He can’t. It’s too little, too late. You might forgive him, but you cannot ever truly forget the past.
4. Remember that history repeats itself.
This is not new. This is ancient history. And unfortunately history repeats itself. Do yourself a favor and don’t waste any more of your time. It wasn’t meant to be. Learn from your past mistakes and move forward. You don’t ever want to think, “If I hadn’t gotten back together with him I would’ve met someone else.”
The next time your toxic ex halfheartedly reaches out to you in an attempt to reignite your interest, ignore him. It’s so much stronger and cooler to be silent. Remember that this was a toxic relationship and he will surely manipulate any response that you give him. You are too busy being awesome and moving on with your life.