35 Questions I Need Answered Before Moving From A Small Midwest Town To Los Angeles


I’m moving 1,600+ miles away from my family. I’m leaving behind the famous cashew chicken and the infamous meth usage my hometown is know for and going to a place where I probably can’t afford either of those things anyway (nor do I want the latter, anyway). This whole ordeal has left me with a plethora of unanswered quandaries.

1. Am I going to die?

2. Will everybody there know I’m a wide-eyed dream chasing buffoon?

3. Does everybody in my family think I’m nuts?

4. Will my family ever stop crying?

5. How soon will I run out of money?

6. Do I have a noticeable accent?

7. How much sunscreen should I bring?

8. Will I meet celebrities regularly?

9. I’m from the same town as Brad Pitt – will that get me anywhere?

10. Is there any chance a celebrity will steal my girlfriend from me? (I wouldn’t blame them, but I’d be devastated)

11. How many In-N-Out burgers a week is too many In-N-Out burgers?

12. Will the deep feeling of doubt in my stomach and lump in my throat ever go away?

13. Is beach bumming a conscious choice or an unavoidable, inevitable reality?

14. Is success out of the question?

15. Will I ever be able to afford to come back home for a visit?

16. Will my excitement mask my worries?

17. How many movies can I see in a given year?

18. When is the next time I’ll be able to afford to eat out?

19. Is the SNL skit The Californians an accurate depiction of LA life?

20. If yes, how soon will that become me, or is that only the native Californians?

21. Can this astronomical risk pay off?

22. Do I have the guts to get through the growing pains of embracing a new city — a huge one at that?

23. Will I ever get tired of fish tacos?

24. What’s the worst that could happen? (no seriously, I’m nervous and curious about that)

25. How many miles a day can I ride my bike (because I can’t afford the gas to drive)?

26. Can I make it more than a year out there?

27. How long do I have to keep validating this huge move to myself and others?

28. Do I have to pretend to like the professional sports teams, or does anybody care?

29. Will anybody be wiling to lend a helping hand or is everybody out there looking to climb past one another?

30. How often will I smell weed in an otherwise public air space?

31. With the recent drought will I be forced to waste what little money I have on bottled water?

32. Will I cry once a month due to the catastrophically high rent being due?

33. Is trying to do what I love worth all of the craziness I’m wondering about above?

34. Why didn’t I do this sooner?

35. How awesome is this, like for real?