Producer’s note: Someone on Quora asked: How do I change my mindset to become what I like? Here is one of the best answers that’s been pulled from the thread.
This is a great question. And in fact, the answer is in the question. It’s all about changing your mindset.
I am convinced that each of us have great value. I am convinced that each of us is better than we think we are. Insert quote here by Eleanor Roosevelt, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
It’s all about mindset.
Let me give you three suggestions to help you adjust your mindset relative to yourself,—and frankly that is the area for which you should have the most healthy mindset. If you’re not healthy in regards to your reflection of yourself then this is an especially good place to start.
1. Focus On Small Victories
All too often we set big, hairy, audacious goals. They’re great, we get excited for a season, and then life gets in the way, slaps us around a little bit, and we fall short of our progress to date, get depressed, “I’ll never get there, what’s the point,” and all those other sorts of things.
Set small goals. Set an alarm to get up in the morning at a set time—and then get up at that time. Set a time frame to do something in—and then do it in that time frame. Tell yourself you’re going to do X—and then do X. It doesn’t matter how big, in fact it’s preferable that it’s quite small. Give yourself those small victories. Those small private victories precede the large public victories.
Get in the habit of winning. Even if you have to play a mind game with yourself relative to small and meaningless goals. Feed your mind with the fact that you do what you say you’re going to do. Feed your mind with the fact that you are someone that does the things that need to be done. You see some dishes, you get them done. You see a chore that needs doing, you get it done. You build a To Do list for the day, you work your way methodically through it. If a full day is too long of a time period for you to start with, give yourself things to do this hour—and then discipline yourself for an hour to go do it.
Just go get victories. Small though they may be, because they will feed your mindset relative to yourself.
2. Who You Hang With
Analyze very carefully the people you spend the most time with. As I’ve referenced in a previous entry, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
Are they dementors in your life? Do they suck the life out of you? Are they trying to pull you down to their level? Or are they lifters. Are they people who provide opportunities and bigger horizons and cheerlead you along. My guess is you have a mixture of both. My guess is, if you’re asking this question, you have an over proponderance of dementors in your life. Be that person who cheerleaders yourself, surround yourself with people that do likewise, honestly so, and then plan on being that for others as well.
3. Be Positive
Everybody has some great attributes. You’ve just got to find them. And then you’ve got to focus on that glass being half full in your life. Yes, sometimes life stinks. Life is tough. Life is difficult. And it is difficult for everyone, even those for whom it appears to be a “piece of cake.” Life’s tough.
But develop the attribute of seeing the glass as half full.
My understanding of the etymology of the word “full,” or the words “full” or “empty” is that “empty” is an absolute term. “Full” is a relative term. “Empty” is like “pregnant.” You can’t be “somewhat pregnant” or “half pregnant.” It’s like being truthfull. You can’t be “half truthful.” You either ARE pregnant or you’re NOT pregnant. You’re either TRUTHFUL or you’re NOT.
The glass is either empty or it is some degree of full. So start referring to aspects of your life as “partially full.” The debate over the glass being half empty or half full is moot. It is always some degree of full.
Play whatever mind games you have to, look wherever you have to—a great sunrise, a good friend, a lucky break because the train was there on time—but get in the habit of looking for those positive things. This is also known as the “Game of appreciation.” You will find that one of the side effects of appreciation is that is you will begin to feel much more positively towards yourself.
Those three things will help you adjust your mindset relative to yourself, because after all, you are the primary asset in your life. You are the highest point of return on investment in your life. If you focus on yourself and your mindset and your skills, you will get a higher return in whatever endeavor you engage in, in your life.