Most girls dream of finding the One. The guy who will, just by a glance, send her stomach aflutter. The guy who makes her nervous when he first says hello. The guy who constantly invades her dreams. The guy who, stands by her—when her looks fade, when shit happens, and when she hits rock bottom.
Women are socialized to start dreaming of prince charming as teens. In her twenties, a woman’s search officially begins. In her thirties, the panic sets in. And if she hasn’t found the One by forty, it’s all over. BULLSHIT. It’s thinking like this that makes women choose unwisely and allows them to settle for less than they’re worth. Below are three main reasons why women tend to settle, relationship wise.
1. All her friends are getting hitched.
You’re at the wedding and there’s that moment you dread, the part when the bride tosses the bouquet and you’re standing there, among starry-eyed teenagers and old ladies with five cats each. You secretly vow that the next wedding will be yours. The guy you’re dating is an OK guy, he has an OK job, and he’s probably an OK provider. He doesn’t really do it for you—he doesn’t get your panties wet or anything—but he’s OK and so is doing OK. You stay in the relationship hoping that someone better will come along, and then Mr OK pops the question and you figure that this is the best you can do, so you say OK. You settle. Then a year in the marriage, you meet the man you should have waited for, the One, and life’s not so OK anymore. Instead, life’s a bitch.
2. Her biological clock is ticking.
You know that the man you’re dating is cheating on you but he’s discreet, so you pretend it’s not happening. You believe it’s better to have a guy who cheats by your side than to have no man at all. And, maybe, you’ve convinced yourself that he will change. So you place yourself at his beck and call, and you give him all that he wants because you have to have your first child by 30, of course. Eventually, however, you become irritated with your situation. Every chance you get, you search his phone, check his Facebook page, and go through his pockets. Suddenly, overnight, you’ve become “that girl,” the stalker—the one people talk about and laugh at. You compromise your happiness. You settle, knowing deep down he’s not good for you and that you’ll never be the girl he truly wants, nor he the right man for you.
3. Her man is downright hot.
Somehow, you got lucky and snagged him. He’s hot, he’s got a great job, a great house, a great car. He’s got everything. When you go out, you’re the envy of all the ladies. Initially, he was attentive, he was loving, he said the right things. But after a few months, you realize that he’s mean, controlling and treats you like crap. But he’s hot, you remind yourself, and everyone is jealous that you landed him. So you put up with him. Nobody has to know. You settle, and your life becomes a facade, happiness a fallacy.