1. You already did…remember?!
2. You already did…and don’t remember.
3. You work together.
4. You live together.
5. He is your brother/sister/cousin/fill-in-the-blank other close relation’s best friend. Stop making things awkward for everyone.
6. He looks a little too much like your ex.
7. He is your ex.
8. He only contacts you via Facebook message. Does he not have a functioning cell phone? Also, is he a 16 year old? Also, is it 2010 again?
9. You can’t figure out what his job is. Does he have a job? Is there a reason why you always end up paying for his drinks?
10. He says he doesn’t have a girlfriend. But you’re pretty sure he has a girlfriend.
11. He’s talking to you but he’s staring at the girl in the low-cut tank top at the other end of the bar.
12. “I mean, he would be really cute if it weren’t for…” No. Stop right there.
13. You know all of your friends are going to give you shit for it. Is it really worth all of the judgmental stares over brunch tomorrow?
14. Sometimes when he’s drunk he tells you he just wants to take you home to meet his mom.
15. 4 a.m. text message.
16. The only compliment he’s ever given you has to do with your boob/ass/boobs or ass in that dress.
17. People keep being like, “Don’t hook up with that guy, he’s an asshole.” Spoiler alert: he’s probably an asshole.
18. You’ve heard he vacations on the planet.