17 Reasons Why Turning 29 Sucks Way More Than Turning 30


So yeah, I have a rather dull birthday coming up in a couple of weeks. I will be turning the ripe old age of 29. Could there be a duller birthday? Everyone harps on about how terrifying turning 30 is, but personally, I think 29 is way worse.

I was happy when I turned 25, I was not happy when I turned 26, 27 or 28. I think these should be called the limbo years. Between 25 and 30, you are trying to figure out what the hell you want to do with your life, because the rules are that once you turn 30 you should be pretty much on top of everything.

Pah! I think when I turn 30, rather than having things all figured out, I will be continually evolving and growing and finding new ways to enhance my life. A lot of people would never choose to relive their 20’s. Why? Because life as a 20 something is damn hard (I am going to sound super old now), especially in this day and age. Yup, I said it.

It’s horrendously expensive living as a twenty something these days, unless you have some help, you can forget getting on the property ladder. I also thought by 30 I would have a house and maybe a ring on my finger and a bump in my belly, but that’s not real life. Real life doesn’t happen like that, and if it doesn’t turn out the way you planned, that’s OK. I am actually now the happiest I have ever been, and that’s all that matters.

Here is a very wise and on point quote from the legend that is Helen Mirren.

‘It seems to me that the years between eighteen and twenty-eight are the hardest, psychologically. It’s then you realize this is make or break, you no longer have the excuse of youth, and it is time to become an adult — but you are not ready.’

The last few years have been a gift to me, because I have finally discovered what job I want to do for the majority of my wonderful life. Thank god for that. I feel like I am on the cusp of something brilliant, and I ready for what lies ahead. I suspect my 30’s will have a lot more in store for me. Anywho, enough babbling, back to my point. Here are some reasons why turning 29 sucks way more than turning 30.

1. 29 is a very uninspiring birthday. This age cannot compete with the glam of turning 18, 21, 25 or 30.

2. No one cares about you turning 29, so get over it.

3. When you turn 29, you have to spend a whole year waiting to turn 30 and dreading it.

4. When you turn 29, you suddenly realize you only have twelve months left of being in your twenties. You need to finally accept that you do not qualify as one of the young ones anymore.

5. No one buys you interesting ‘29th’ birthday cards, and the presents you get are lammmeee.

6. You probably won’t celebrate by doing anything that special, because at the end of the day, it’s only your 29th. It might warrant a meal out or something but no one can be arsed to do anything that fun for your 29th. At least when you turn 30 everyone makes a big fuss.

7. All your friends think they are grown up and would rather go to Ikea, the gym or give their house a spring clean instead of celebrating your birthday (although I can’t complain, I currently have a grand total of ten attendees according to my Facebook event for my 29th. So yeah, I’m popular, I know you’re ridiculously jealous. What of it).

8. A lot of your big achievements will probs be post-30, so yeah, hang in there.

9. You feel like you have to start planning your 30th birthday already to ensure it doesn’t end up being a bit tragic.

10. Some women start freaking out they are single and without the prospect of having children in the next few years, because a lot of idiots think you should have this in the bag buy 30. Which means you have twelve months to find a decent man or your eggs will perish and you will be forever alone. It’s all a load of bollocks, but it’s still in the back of our minds.

11. You look at your other 29-year-old friends who have everything figured out and deep down you know you won’t have what they have by 30.

12. You have to listen to endless mind-numbing advice about how to prepare for turning 30.

13. Every time you tell someone your age, they make a joke about you turning 30 soon. So darn annoying.

14. You spend your 29th year reading articles about what you should have achieved and how you should feel when you turn 30, and it depresses you. Buzzfeed is not the best place to go for life advice.

15. You start realizing that being 29 there might be some things you are too old for (my advice is to keep doing them anyway).

16. You discover you only really have one full year left of going clubbing, and that really doesn’t bother you, because going on a night out is such an effort. PJ’s, takeaway and Netflix is way more appealing. 11pm is your latest bedtime now.

17. Whilst watching friends you realize you are pretty much the same age as them. Weird. So you watch ‘The One Where They All Turn 30’ and completely relate to everything. You just have twelve months of waiting before the inevitable happens.