Remember when you were little and you spent almost all of your spare time with your besties? Epic playdates, epic messes, and epic sleepovers. Things were just… easier then. Fast forward to the teen years, friendships sometimes got messy, but stronger. School trouble, boy trouble, and trouble trouble. You found out who had your back, and who didn’t. Fast forward to your 20’s, and friendships are… different. Navigating friendships in your 20’s is much like ships passing in the night. Keeping a bestie date is quite easily mission impossible.
Let’s face the truth, you’re busy. With school, work, and life in general. Quick texts just to say hi, but no real time for a conversation is an all too familiar reality. Scheduling, and rescheduling bestie dates, even if they are only for an hour or two is just our new reality. So this is what our 20s look like? Good to know. With all of the running around and very little time to download your life with your bestie, it’s so easy to feel, well, disconnected. Honestly, it sucks, because where would you be without your bestie? Probably still pining over that guy that is no good for you (kidding, mostly). On the real though, besties are the best, and your friendships need a little TLC, especially with such a busy life, I know mine do.
So, here are 15 ideas to keep your friendship alive:
1. Agree to set a certain amount of time aside to do a weekly download of how your week went, new topics, and other gush-worthy topics via skype, zoom, or another online interface. (If you can swing a face to face date once a month, BONUS!)
2. This one is a little old school, but if you’re anything like me you cherish the little things, especially if you can keep them long term. Send notes or letters to your besties, i.e. week 1: 10 most memorable memories of us, week 2: top 5 things we have to do this year together, week 3: quick response to a common topic or question, etc. Your bestie/s can respond to the “prompts” each week.
3. Plan literal TLC for you both, can I suggest a mini spa date or a mani-pedi (low on cash? Let me suggest Groupon, there are INCREDIBLE deals on there. -OR- Make it an at- home mini spa date) Try to make it monthly, bi-monthly, or whenever you’d like. (Extra bonus, trade off on who pays every time).
4. Have a bestie scavenger hunt if you really know each other, or to find out more about each other. Hide something your bestie likes in a place only they would know about.
5. List a certain amount of things you love, admire, look up to, etc. about your bestie. I’m doing this with one of my besties for her birthday according to her age. You can do one according to something else special too like how long you’ve known them.
6. Validate them. Just tell them the truth about themselves that they may not see because trust me, they need it, and you know them pretty well so who better to tell them?
7. Send them a daily text to start off their morning. Short, and sweet. They can be different themes each week, bible verses, inspirational quotes, or just something that pertains to them. Whatever you choose, it’s a small detail that can mean a lot. Plus, if they’re having a bad day it’s nice to have a little pick me up from your bestie to refer back to.
8. Plan a movie date, no seriously, check your schedule and pencil it in.
9. Schedules conflict, you really can’t swing it together? Watch the movie separately BECAUSE you can always talk about it together.
10. Plan to do something you both love together.
11. Is your bestie a foodie? If so, they are so my type of person! Plan out a restaurant hop over a certain span of time. What’s a restaurant hop? So glad you asked. It’s something I made up, but it goes like this. Let’s say you do this meetup monthly. One of you chooses the theme, and the other chooses the restaurant (it’s so much better if the other hasn’t been, or neither of you has been there at all). Each month something different, and if you really want to get interesting hunt down cool places outside of just restaurants: food trucks, stands, holes in the walls, etc. Here’s another twist, hunt down something specific, ex: the best mac and cheese, burger, etc.
12. If you are low on cash, find fun free things to do ahead of time. Look for calendars, schedules etc. and look for free. If you live in a major city, you can find almost anything, especially during summer time. Key to this is PLANNING AHEAD. Pencil it in and follow up. Isn’t it crazy how friendship can sound like a job? IT’S ONE OF THE BEST KIND THOUGH!
13. Have an artsy bestie? Two words for you then: Bestie Scrapbook.
14. Have a literary bestie? Go back to the old school stuff. Have a journal that you both write entries in, (try to get the ones that allow you to add pages) and keep swapping the journal bi-weekly, monthly, bi-monthly, etc. until the year ends. Here are two benefits: 1. You get to see each other in the pass off if you can take advantage 2. You guys can look back on your journal entries at the start of the new year, and later on in life.
15. Have a chef as a bestie? Plan a cooking date, same timeframe, weekly, monthly, bi-monthly, etc. timing is everything.
So that’s a wrap. Try any of these or even a combination of any of these ideas to keep connected with your bestie. It’s super important, a healthy friendship is a good for the soul, and for your sanity!
No matter how busy life gets, always find a way to make time for the stuff that really matters.