100 Quotes About Women


Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. Nelson Algren
I trust only one thing in a woman: that she will not come to life again after she is dead. In all other things I distrust her. Antiphanes
Man forgives woman anything save the wit to outwit him. Minna Antrim
Women like silent men. They think they’re listening. Marcel Archard
It was a man’s world. Then Eve arrived. Richard Armour
No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. Honoré de Balzac
Only good girls keep diaries. Bad girls don’t have time. Tallulah Bankhead
Here’s to woman! Would that we could fold into her arms without falling into her hands. Ambrose Bierce
Women are nothing but machines for producing children. Napoleon Bonaparte
To me, girls are just a pain in the ass. Brian “The Boz” Bosworth
Good women always think it is their fault when someone else is being offensive. Bad women never take the blame for anything. Anita Brookner
Even if man could understand women he still wouldn’t believe it. AW Brown
Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere. Helen Gurley Brown
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means. George Burns
Women hate everything which strips off the tinsel of sentiment, and they are right, or it would rob them of their weapons. Lord Byron
Here’s all you have to know about men and women: Women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. George Carlin
I have always found women difficult. I don’t really understand them. To begin with, few women tell the truth. Barbara Cartland
The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain. Chinese Proverb
Never trust a woman, even though she has given you ten sons. Chinese Proverb
Women and people of low birth are very hard to deal with. If you are friendly to them, they get out of hand, and if you keep your distance, they resent it. Confucius
Heav’n hath no rage like love to hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d. William Congreve
Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade, since it consists principally of dealing with men. Joseph Conrad
I wouldn’t be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife. Tony Curtis
Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast. Marlene Dietrich
The gods have sent medicines for the venom of serpents, but there is no medicine for a bad woman. She is more noxious than the viper, or than fire itself. Euripides
Terrible is the force of the waves of sea, terrible is the rush of the river and the blasts of hot fire, and terrible are a thousand other things; but none is such a terrible evil as woman. Euripides
God gave women intuition and femininity. Used properly, the combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I’ve ever met. Farrah Fawcett
Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no one likes to have to keep one. W. C. Fields
To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girlfriends. Benjamin Franklin
The great question which I have not been able to answer, despite my 30 years of research into the feminine soul, is “What does woman want?” Sigmund Freud
Women are like death: they pursue those who flee from them, and flee from those who pursue them. German Proverb
Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs had better get used to it. Robert Heinlein
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. Katharine Hepburn
A thousand men can easily live together in peace, but two women, even if they be sisters, can never do so. Hindu Proverb
Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women. Nicole Hollander
Man has will, but woman has her way. Oliver Wendell Holmes
No trust is to be placed in women. Homer
There is no fouler fiend than a woman when her mind is bent to evil. Homer
Women’s intuition is the result of millions of years of not thinking. Rupert Hughes
If the wife sins, the husband is not innocent. Italian Proverb
Nature has given women so much power that the law has very wisely given them little. Samuel Johnson
Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilt and I’ll show you a man. Erica Jong
The female of the species is more deadly than the male. Rudyard Kipling
In point of morals, the average woman is, even for business, too crooked. Stephen Leacock
Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman. Kathy Lette
I have nothing against women. As a matter of fact there’s something about them that I love, but I just can’t put my finger on it. Jerry Lewis
I could sooner reconcile all Europe than two women. Louis XIV
The people I’m getting furious with are the women’s liberationists. They keep getting on their soapboxes proclaiming that women are brighter than men. That’s true, but it should be kept quiet or it ruins the whole racket. Anita Loos
Women should be obscene and not heard. Groucho Marx
Anyone who knows anything of history knows that great social changes are impossible without feminine upheaval. Social progress can be measured exactly by the social position of the fair sex, the ugly ones included. Karl Marx
A man’s women folk, whatever their outward show of respect for his merit and authority, always regard him secretly as an ass, and with something akin to pity. His most gaudy sayings and doings seldom deceive them; they see the actual man within, and know him for a shallow and pathetic fellow. In this fact, perhaps, lies one of the best proofs of feminine intelligence, or, as the common phrase makes it, feminine intuition. H. L. Mencken
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t they’d be married too. H. L. Mencken
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. H. L. Mencken
On one issue at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women. H. L. Mencken
When women kiss it always reminds me of prize fighters shaking hands. H. L. Mencken
I expect Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man. George Meredith
I don’t mind living in a man’s world as long as I can be a woman in it. Marilyn Monroe
A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life. Christopher Morley
I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t. Patrick Murray
Women would rather be right than reasonable. Ogden Nash
Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. Friedrich Nietzsche
Are you visiting women? Do not forget your whip… Friedrich Nietzsche
In revenge and in love, woman is more barbarous than man. Friedrich Nietzsche
When a woman becomes a scholar there is usually something wrong with her sexual organs. Friedrich Nietzsche
Woman was God’s second mistake. Friedrich Nietzsche
If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. Aristotle Onassis
I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb…and I also know that I’m not blonde. Dolly Parton
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. Maryon Pearson
There are only two types of women— goddesses and doormats. Pablo Picasso
The woman cries before the wedding and the man after. Polish Proverb
Most women have no characters at all. Alexander Pope
One of the reasons I don’t see eye to eye with Women’s Lib is that women have it all on a plate if only they knew it. They don’t have to be pretty either. Charlotte Rampling
A woman is like a tea bag—you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. Nancy Davis Reagan
There’s two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. Will Rogers
The reason that there are so few women comics is that so few women can bear being laughed at. Anna Russell
Women’s virtue is man’s greatest invention. Cornelia Otis Skinner
The great and almost only comfort about being a woman is that one can always pretend to be more stupid than one is and no one is surprised. Freya Stark
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. —Gloria Steinem 79. Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married? Barbra Streisand
Blessed are you, Lord our God, King of eternity, who has not created me a woman. The Talmud
If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman. Margaret Thatcher
Women add zest to the unlicensed hours. Allen Thomas
I hate women because they always know where things are. James Thurber
When I have one foot in the grave, I will tell the whole truth about women. I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me and say, “Do what you like now.” Leo Tolstoy
What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce. Mark Twain
Women are an alien race set down among us. John Updike
If a man is talking in the forest, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong? Jenny Weber
Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution yet. Mae West
When women go wrong, men go right after them. Mae West
I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat or a prostitute. Rebecca West
The main difference between men and women is that men are lunatics and women are idiots. Rebecca West
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily this is not difficult. Charlotte Whitton
Women: Can’t live with them, can’t bury them in the back yard without the neighbors seeing. Sean Williamson
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That is his. Oscar Wilde
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. Oscar Wilde
Every woman is a rebel, and usually in wild revolt against herself. Oscar Wilde
Every woman is wrong until she cries. Oscar Wilde
The only way a woman can ever reform her husband is by boring him so completely that he loses all possible interest in life. Oscar Wilde
An exhaustive study of police records shows that no woman has ever shot her husband while he was doing the dishes. Earl Wilson
Why are women so much more interesting to men than men are to women? Virginia Woolf