10 Ways To Deal With Losing Friends In College (Or Anywhere, Really)


1. Call your friend from home and bitch. They will tell you how much better you are than those who slighted you; that they aren’t worth your time anyways. That’s what friends are for. Their reassurance will get you through the initial shock of finding yourself suddenly alone, and the reminder that you still have people who will hate strangers for the sole reason that they made you cry will make you feel the slightest bit better.

2. Call your mom and cry. She will remind you, first and foremost, that you are loved and more than worthy of being a friend and having them. She raised you to care wholly and deeply for people, and will remind you that that is never a fault. And she’ll send you some pasta and Milky Ways.

3. Take the time away from your old friends to bond with your roommate. Maybe try starting up a room tradition, like Hump Day Sushi delivery or Sunday night dance parties to old disney tunes. You’ve got to spend the whole year living with them, so you might as well try to be their friend.

4. Find that one friend at school with whom you can drink alone. Then drink alone together. Best experienced around 2am, drinking alone with someone can be extremely therapeutic. A great vehicle for deep, personal talks or even just some validated whining (get it? wine-ing?).

5. Find an activity that requires a lot of time. What might start out as a distraction could grow into something you really love. Things like plays and cultural clubs are a great way to meet people you otherwise wouldn’t, and also demand a lot of time. It’s a perfect way to forget about those old losers while finding new, awesome people to hang out with. 

6. Use some newfound free time to go to office hours. Not only will this distract you and use up some free time, but it will help you in classes in the long run and you might even get some sage, worldly life advice from a professor or two.

7. Go on adventures. If you are lucky enough to go to a school near a big city, go out with no plan per se, and wander around trying little food places and learning about the environment in which you live. If you go to school in a more remote location, give your campus a thorough exploration. Your campus needs not be confined to the handful of buildings in which you live and have classes. Learn the little secrets and the fun facts, and you’ll have great trivia for family and friends that ask about where you go to school on visits home. 

8. Go to the library and ask a reference librarian or a student worker to recommend a book. Take the book without question and follow through in reading it. You might learn something you never knew or stumble upon a new favorite genre or writer, all while spending time engrossed in something other than your social life (or unfortunate lack thereof). 

9. Go out and get wild. Put on your Fuck Me heels and toss your hair over your shoulders a few times until someone buys you a drink. Dance too much and laugh too loudly. On nights like these, everyone is a friend. You are part of the giant friendship community that is the College Bar. Relish in it. 

10. Accept that people come and go, and that you can only make true friends by being true to yourself. Be grateful that you found out early on that the people you were hanging out with maybe weren’t the nicest bunch. Cherish the time you get to yourself in the crazy hectic college world, and work hard in your studies. At the end of the day, the people who you would want to have in your life will pick up on your good vibes and you’ll find yourself on a social upswing before you know it. And always remember that hard times reveal true friends.