Your 20s are scary. Really scary. Everyone knows this. You’re physically and legally an adult, yet your knees weaken at the mere thought of taxes, or paying for your own dinner. There is no strict guideline to becoming an adult, but if you have a keen eye, you’ll notice a few small personality changes that mean one thing: YOU’RE OLD NOW!
1. You stop checking for monsters under the bed.
This also applies to goblins in the closet, vampires outside the window, and alligators in the toilet.
2. You schedule your own appointments.
And no, the feeling of pure, unrestrained terror will never go away.
3. A four-figure bank account isn’t all that impressive.
Well…to most of us. But to human garbage bags like me, four figures means being able to open a savings account for Chipotle outings.
4. You don’t know how, but you’ve become an incredible chef.
Holy shit. Peanut butter and pickles on bread? How did I think of this?? (Keep an eye out for me on Chopped).
5. Instead of praying for snow days, you pray for global warming.
Sure, none of us want the earth to drown, but do we want to shovel out our cars every morning, either? Didn’t think so!
6. You start to look for love in all the wrong places.
I’m lookin at you, TD Bank online customer service representative named Brandon.
7. Beer becomes water.
And water becomes that useless “healthy” stuff you used to drink before realizing that alcohol is a much better substitute for healthy living.
8. Cooties don’t exist anymore.
Thanks to Tumblr, I have been completely desensitized to any form of sexuality. But that’s great! Let’s make out!
9. Pop punk will make you feel nostalgia like no other.
Don’t even think about playing any Metro Station around me. Don’t you DARE. I’m a man and I do not cry.
10. You can literally do anything.
Don’t forget that. Face your fears. And if you fall down in the process, just get up and make them EAT IT.