There is always an invisible boundary in a relationship where one partner does not always admit their feelings or thoughts because they are aware of the impact it could have on their significant other. It could start a lover’s quarrel, a foundation for new insecurities, or even tempt them to leave you for another and all of these reasons have stopped me from beating some actual sense into my boyfriend. I’m afraid to push, afraid to be honest about some of my own anxieties, and even more scared to let him know about my frustrations caused by him.
1. I am genuinely thrilled that you find me attractive enough to think everyone has a hidden agenda to steal me away from you but that is not the case. I agree with you that I am quite the catch but I can guarantee I am not 90 percent of the male population’s dream. Not every male friend of mine is urging me to break up with you and run into their arms. I find that people respect what we have together and I wish you would give your fellow men some credit.
2. I have no one on the back burner. I’m currently looking down at all of the burners on my stove and you occupy every single one of them. I barely have time to sleep let alone cultivate multiple romantic interests. When I say I love you and want to be with only you, I’m not saying it for my health.
3. When I get angry or you’re a little taxing on my nerves, I do not want to always bring the concern to you. My friends are my friends because I am able to confide in them. They know me well enough to calm me when I need it, inform me when I’m wrong, or agree that you really were being a stupid jerk. Therapy time with my friends saves you valuable hours from fighting with me. I am not shit talking the relationship. When I actually come to you upset about something please do not try and turn it around on me. I can’t be the only one who does something wrong, unless you’re Jesus and then we better get started on editing that bible.
4. “Do you really like to kiss me?” should not be an actual question. If I did not feel chemistry and attraction to you, you would not be my boyfriend. That is what friends are for and I have plenty of them. The fact I do not initiate intimacy every time we hang out does not mean that I do not want to share those moments with you but rather I am generally either feeling undesirable or hoping you will get the hint that it turns me on when you take charge.
5. The point of being in a serious monogamous relationship is not just for shits and giggles. I see myself with you for the long haul. I am not going to leave in a week, a month, or a year unless you give me a reason to. So if you want to plan for the future with me, let’s have that serious conversation instead of always accusing me of my future intent to dump you or jokingly throwing out the idea to get married tomorrow. If it’s not a serious conversation how will you know what I am seriously thinking?
6. When you tell me you have doubts about our relationship, I’ll start to have them too.
7. No, I do not go out drinking and get wild. I generally spend my time being awkward and wishing you were there to laugh at this drunk guy inventing some unseen moves while my friends leave me to talk to some potential hook ups.
8. No, I’m not being mean because I do not like you anymore. I am generally annoyed because all I want is to spend time with you and I get a little bitchy when I haven’t had your arm slung around my shoulders in the past few days. If that’s not it I’m sure it has something to do with the fact I’m just having a bad day and could really use one of your cheesy jokes.
9. I understand I am a few years younger than you but when I hear those dreaded “I forget how old you actually are sometimes…” in the middle of an argument you just asked for the stank face to make an appearance. My age is not a reason to doubt me.
10. You, I want you.